"Sometimes the most urgent and vital thing you can possibly do is take a complete rest."
(Ashleigh Brilliant (1933- ) U.S. (English born) writer and cartoonist.)
Tick tock. The clock is ticking away, there is still a lot to do and of course not enough time to do it.
Why is life like this? Why do we rush from A to B, leave our dreams untouched and wake up the next day and do it all again?
I can tell you all about how short life is and how important it is to stop and smell the roses, but, you may ask, "How on earth do we find the time to sniff flowers?"
I have inherited an unfortunate genetic defect; it is called perfectionism. This means that almost everything I do takes twice as long because it has to be done flawlessly. Upon reflection I devised some steps to create some equilibrium in my life and the first lesson I have had to learn is that, although some things are worth doing perfectly, a lot of the time, near enough just has to be good enough; the trick is to decide what is really important.
1) SOMETIMES IT JUST HAS TO BE SLAPDASH AND SO BE IT.
It's hard if you have the precision gene, but well worth a shot if you are after a better quality lifestyle. The house looks a little messy? For Goodness' sake, leave it! Repeat after me: "The more the emphasis on perfection the further it recedes."
Now that we got that out of the way, let's move on to the second step to a happier life.
2) DO IT NOW!
Procrastination is like an infection; you must nip in the bud or it will spread, get much worse and cause a lot of pain. American psychologist and philosopher William James once said, "Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task."
I feel uncomfortable procrastinating because I stress a lot more with the knowledge that there is something needing be done and I'm not doing it.
Sometimes it is a lot easier to do little tasks as the need arises rather than place them at the end of a never ending to do list. The idea is to differentiate between simple errands and more time consuming chores which would be a lot better off at the bottom of said list.
As an example, I pay my bills, or schedule them to be paid, usually on the same day they arrive. It doesn't take very much time to pay a bill on line, but it can be costly if a pile is left until past the due date and possibly forgotten about all together, which can easily happen; let's face it, invoices are generally abundant nowadays.
This brings me to another tip.
3) MAKE USE OF TECHNOLOGY AND "MOD CONS".
Complicated as they can sometimes be, if used correctly they can simplify your existence. A text message or an e-mail is a fast way to communicate, thus avoiding long phone conversations and it is worth throwing that last of the laundry in the drier every now and then, blow the expense and save precious time. It is ok occasionally as long as we consider our environment.
4) DELAY GRATIFICATION.
Years ago I read an interesting book by M. Scott Peck called "The road less travelled". Dr Peck talks about different life aspects from discipline, love, growth, & religion to living gracefully. The first chapter deals with discipline and "delaying gratification", which means accomplishing less pleasant tasks first and leaving the more enjoyable chores until the end.
"Delaying gratification is a process of scheduling the pain and pleasure of life in such a way as to enhance the pleasure by meeting and experiencing pain first and getting it over with. It is the only decent way to live" he writes.
I like to get up very early, get all my mundane, boring jobs done; drop my child off at school, take a nap and sit down to write, which is my passion. I enjoy it so much more with the knowledge that all the painful stuff is out of the way.
5) PRIORITIZE.
I love a sparkling clean house, but I adore spending time with my daughter more so I have a housework roster. My friends and family have been amused by this, but for me it has been a life saver.
There is so much that requires my attention around the house from general tidying up to cleaning out the fridge or washing the windows. I have sat down and realistically looked at each job; I emphasize the word realistically, especially for those afflicted with the perfection paralysis gene. I have analyzed how often each task needs to be done and how much time I have each day. I allow myself to accomplish only what is on the roster for any given day and no more. This keeps me organized and when I notice dust or dirt I know that I will eventually get around to it as long as I stick to my schedule. This works very well for me if I am flexible enough to accept life's constant surprises. It can be useful for the roster to include free time, family time, "me" time etc.
6) MULTITASK.
I try to do this whenever I can, for example I can write out my shopping list while eating breakfast. Putting your phone on speaker is great for catching up with a friend while also cooking dinner. Any activity that can be pooled with another can save you a great deal of time.
7) SAY NO.
Assertiveness is not my strong point and refusing invitations or requests for help is extremely hard for me and I am sure it is another one of my life lessons. The "disease to please" is another dangerous virus.
I don't reply immediately to requests, I tell the demanding person I am going to think about it, go home, ponder and make a decision then, this avoids getting roped in on impulse. The important thing to remember is that intelligent people will generally understand when you say no to a lunch date, because you are tired and need to rest
8) DELEGATE.
This has been another arduous lesson. There are two reasons I find delegating problematic. One I hate to "bother" or "put people out" and the other is that I have the tendency to feel that whatever it is, will not be done as well as if I did it myself. I have to constantly remind myself that everyone has the right to ask anything of anyone as long as they are aware that the other party has the right to say no (see tip no 7) and that facing the challenge of letting things go and allowing others to do it their way will benefit me enormously in the long run.
9) TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
For women (and some men) it is practice to put yourself last, because of the need to take care of everyone else's needs first, but without you no one will be taken care of.
Do you see the importance of looking after yourself and occasionally putting yourself first?
If you are so needed you need to be healthy and happy so your stay on this planet is a happy and lengthy one, so do watch your diet, get enough sleep, take a walk every now and then and treasure activities that ease stress such as meditation, listening to music or whatever makes your heart sing.
When all is said and done, simplifying our lives and ensuring we keep a healthy balance on things is one remedy for stress.
Perhaps it might be an idea to stop what you re doing make yourself a cup of tea and take stock of where your valuable time is going and whether all the things and people crowding your life are absolutely essential and take action. Do it. Do it now!
"The time to relax is when you don't have time for it."
(Attributed to Jim Goodwin and Sydney J. Harris)
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